New Year, New Goal

I am setting a new goal for this year.  My goal is, to maintain my goal.  I wonder what it's going to take to keep me on the right path?  What can I do to remind myself of my goal when my spirit is low, my power is weak, my hope is gone.  Does anyone really understand what it is like to feel like an utter failure at all times?  Losing weight should be one of the easiest things to do for a smart person like me.  I have all the answers, all the reasoning, all the tools I need to be successful, and I can use them all when I am first starting out.  I used to be able to make changes last for three months at least, which was normally all I needed to get back in shape.  Now, of course, I am facing two years of strict attention to everything I do.  It wouldn't be that big of a deal if I could get a few months under my belt.  If I could make eating right and exercising a part of my habits of everyday life.  However, that is just the problem.  I can't seem to make it past a few days to a week! 

However, Rob is starting a program with the Indian clinic that I think will help him to stay the course.  If he can get a good start, maybe doing it together will help!  I am willing to give it another try and I am willing to attempt changing my life for good.  Realizing that I should be eating this way forever, not just the next two years.  I have spent the majority of my adult life struggling with this and I am so tired of it.  I want to make eating and food secondary to everything else I'm doing.  I am a hard worker.  I am athletic and flexible, even the woman at curves commented on it.  My only issue is with follow through.  I fall apart after only a few days.  Lord send me some strength!  We will be dumping all the junk in the kitchen and starting over YET AGAIN.  I'm so tired, it is actually painful to think of doing anything.  This is a major part of my problem, my horrible eating habits make me exhausted, so I sit on the couch, which makes me even more out of shape, which makes me depressed, which makes me eat, which makes me more tired.  Pretty soon I'll just be a big blob on the couch with no ambition and no direction...no care in the world.  OH WAIT, that has already happened.  If I didn't have my daughter I might very well be completely sedentary. 

So, here's to a new year. Here's to keeping my goals, keeping on track.  Keeping myself on the VIP list.  I MUST make changes, even if they are little ones.  My goal is to make changes for the better, and STICK TO THEM, no matter how small or silly.  For instance, no more eating after 8pm.  No more cokes or no more "diet" foods that are just as bad as the real thing. 

I guess that's all for now.  Here's to hoping, trying and believing.